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Notes on 200 Motels
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1994-10-24
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200 MOTELS
==========
Notes & Comments
ver.0.9
put together by
Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
lyrics was originaly transcribed by
gordo <CK7263@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>
corrected and reorganized with the help of
_Plastic People. Corrected Version_
songbook by
Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
special thanks to
Johannes Labisch <joe@cs.tu-berlin.de>
M - Mark Vollmam,
H - Howard Kaylan,
Jm - Jimmy Carl Black
Jf - Jeff Simmons
T - Theodor Bikel
Ch - Chorus
Sp - Female Soprano
Tr - Male Tenore
GC - Good Concience
BC - Bad Concience
Evr - Everybody :-)
Semi-fraudulent/Direct-from-Hollywood Overture
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T: Ladies and gentlemen!
Ch: 200 motels
T: 200 motels.. Life on the road.
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# It seems that an explanation of Mr. Rance Muhammtz heavy german accent
# can be find on various bootleg tracks of Flo'n'Eddie era. But here is
# an official one :-) transcribed from YCDIOSA vol.I ( see also OSFA N&C )
#
# From: hank@jasper.music.mcgill.ca (Hank Knox)
# _Once Upon A Time_
# And, by means of a cute little song in the German language, which is the
# way he talks whenever it's heavy business, the Good Lord went something
# like this (take it away, Jim Pons):
#
# So if we remember that Rance Muhammtz is just one of the Devil's many names
# we must admit that accordingly to FZ model of Heaven and Hell the mother
# tongue of the angels should be deutsch! Ich bien Maroon !!!!!!!
Mystery Roach
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H: How long? How long?
Till that MYSTERY ROACH be arrivin' soon
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo
# The Concise Oxford Dictionary
#
# roach 1. n. small freshwater fish allied to carp
# 2. n. coackroach
# 3. (sl.) marijuanna cigarette-butt
# So the question arised. Who is approachin' soon? The freshwater mudshark?
# Or stinky dope butt for Jeff Simmons? Or are there any kind of little
# home pets ( see 2 ) in USA motels?
Mystery, mystery, mystery, mystery,
mystery, mystery, mystery, mystery, roach!
Tuna Fish Promenade
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H: They'll either be dead..
M: or moved to San Francisco.
H: ( Where everybody thinks they're Heavy Business.
But it's just a Tuna Sandwich from another catering service. )
# Why not to LA? What's wrong with Frisco?
The Sealed Tuna Bolero
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H:
from a matron in Le Havre with a blown-out crack
^^^^^^
who dies to suck the fringe off Jimmy Carl Black.
# Hmmm. It seems that there was no such drug in Flo'n'Eddie era.
# Just some innocent junk, acid, dope... :-)
Lonesome Cowboy Burt
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H: He's LONESOME COWBOY BURT.
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.
Jm: Come on in this place
an' I'll buy you a taste.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You can sit on my face.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Where's my waitress?
# What's the meaning of this in Rednecks mythology?
Jm: Come on in this place
an' I'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress?
OPAL, YOU HOT LITTLE BITCH!
^^^^^
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# That not very common in english spoken world girl's name is appeared to be
# directly from Frank Lancaster boyhood.
#
# From: mdryden@cix.compulink.co.uk (Martyn Dryden)
# Transcribed from BBC Television tribute movie interview, Dec 18, 1993
# FZ:
# I hadn't been raised in an environment where there was a lot of music
# in the house. This couple that owned the chili place, Opal and
# Chester, agreed to ask the man who serviced the jukebox to put in
# some of the song titles that I liked, because I promised that I would
# dutifully keep pumping quarters into this thing so I could listen to
# them. So I had the ability to eat good chili and listen to Three
# Hours Past Midnight by Johnny Guitar Watson, for most of my junior and
# senior years.
#
#CC
# From: Valdimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su:-)))))
# It's interesting to note that in the movie, Devil aka Rance Muhammtz
# also don't mind to be called Opal Hot Little Bitch. He appeared behind
# Lonesome Cowboy of the group Jimmy Carl Black right after his final Opal cry,
# and tryed to sale Mr.Black bottle of beer for his eternal soul. Not long
# ago he offered very similar deal - cheesburger for soul to Mr.Jeff Simmons.
# No one agreed. It seems that poor bastard played low. The real market price
# of 20 century soul was correctly estimated later ( see _Titties and Beer_
# from FZ in New York )
Would You Like a Snack?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H: Went on the road
for a month touring.
What a drag...
You gotta go
even if you'd rather be at home.
Flaked out
in Hollywood.
drove to Inglewood and then we dumped
all our shit into the plane at five-O-three
( What's it gonna be? )
M: Chicken, beef or turkey?
H: La La La La
M: Would you like a snack?
#CC
# Of course it's BWS's Holiday in Berlin with rascal vocal of two clowns.
# Someone mentioned in a.f.f.-z. that another version of the lyrics about
# actual sojourn in Berlin can be heard on some bootleg. I will be glad to
# put it here or add to BWS N&C if some kind soul have a transcription.
Shove It Right In
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H: She chooses all the clothes
she'll wear tonight to dance in.
(She dances, she prances, she dances, she prances)
The places that she goes
are filled with guys from groups,
yeah-yeah-yeah
Waiting for a chance to break her pants in.
PROVOCATIVE SQUATS!
Gum me on m'lunga
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# What does it mean? ( The line is from corrected by FZ copy of Plastic People
# Songbook, so no reason to talk about thickness of an earwax :-)))
Dental Hygeine Dilemma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jf: Man! This stuff is great! It's just as if Donovan himself had appeared
^^^^^^^
# It's a singer, isn't it? Did he really preach love and eternal wisdom?
Jf: In this group, all I ever get to do is play Zappa's comedy music.
_He_ eats!
^^^^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( sova@bank.kemerovo.su )
# HE SUCKS! ( See Chunga's Revenge N&C _Road Ladies_ )
Jf: I get so tense.
BC: Of course you do my boy.
Jf: The stuff he makes me do is always off the wall.
BC: That's why it would be best to leave his stern employ.
Jf: And quit the group!
BC: You'll make it big!
Jf: That's right.
BC: Of course!
Jf: And then I won't be small!
# From: gordo <CK7263@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>
# I'm reminded of the scene in the movie 'The Wizard of Oz' where the
# munchkin mayor and a few other munchkins are discussing how to help
# Dorothy or something. It's been a long time since I've seen either
# movie. (Is this part even in the movie version of 200?) Somebody else
# will surely remember what scene I'm talking about. This part *must* be a
# parody of that scene from 'The Wizard of Oz.'
Ahmet Ertegun used this towel as a bathmat six weeks ago at a rancid
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Who is he?
motel in Orlando, Florida, with the highest mildew rating of any
commercial lodging facility within the territorial limits of the United
States, naturally excluding tropical possessions. It's still damp. What
an aroma! This is the best I ever got off! What can I say about this
elixir? Try it on steaks! Cleans nylons! Small craft warnings! It's
^^^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov ( sova@bank.kemerovo.su )
# In the movie this infamous liqiud is a content of a bottle labeled
#
# -----------------------
# | SHMERTZ |
# | |
# | Golden Rot Gut |
# | BEER |
# -----------------------
#
# From: pepke@scri.fsu.edu (Eric Pepke)
# I think it was a corruption of German/Yiddish "Schmerz," which means ache
# or pain.
#
# once again From: Vladimir Sovetov ( sova@bank.kemerovo.su :-)
# May be I am wrong but in Russian Shmert' is Death. The Russian comes to my
# mind just because of three cyrillic characthers on the front of unforgetable
# Rance cap .
# O|O A K is a Russian spelling of the word FUCK.
M&H: What can I say about this elixir?
M: Jeff has gone out there on that stuff!
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# In the movie Flo'n'Eddie part of _Dental Hygeine Dilemma_ existed
# as separate piece. And can be heard ( while multicoloured Jeff very
# unnaturly simulated drug induced madness ) right before Teodor Bikel
# final _Strictly Genteel_ benediction :-).
#
BC: He should have never have used the elixir and only stuck to the incense.
Oh, Atlantis.
^^^^^^^^^^
# Is it possible to hear such an expletive in real US life?
M: That was Billy the Mountain, dressed up like Donovan, fading out on the
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
wall-mounted TV screen. Jeff _is_ flipping out. Road fatigue! We've got
M: Howard, that was Studebacher Hoch, dressed up like Jim Pons, giving
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# The mysterious creatures from _Just Another Band From L.A._. The last one
# some folks say ( despite being dressed like Jim Pons ) looks like Zubin
# Metha :-)))
Does This Kind of Life Look Interesting to You?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BC: Does this kind of life look interesting to you? Night after night, dinners
with Herb Cohen. Thrill-packed, fun-filled evenings on the French Riviera
at the MIDEM convention.
^^^^^
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# I don't know what it stands for but I believe it's kinda pop music festival
# for guys like Herb Cohen to sell some Hot Meats, Hot Zits and Hot Ritz.
A big tie, the whole bit. Watch Mutt eat, and Leon
^^^^ ^^^^^
# From: gordo <CK7263@ALBNYVMS.BITNET>
# On pages 67-8 of _The Real Frank Zappa Book_, I just noticed this:
#
# "Eventually they became joint managers of our band, with a contract
# negotiated 'on behalf of the group' by Herb's brother, an attorney named
# Martin (Mutt) Cohen."
# So maybe it is "Mutt" and maybe that has something to do with it.
# Who's Leon????
feed the geese. One thousand green business cards, with your name and the
wrong address. Plus six royalty statements, inspected and customized by
ran toon tan han toon frammet and Dee.
^^^
#CC
# Who's she. It should be cleared out. 'Coze she also mentioned later ( and
# along with Cohen on _Bongo Fury_ Caroline Hard-Core Ecstasy
#
# It might seems strange for Herb and Dee
# Caroline Hard-Core Ecstasy
with tickets on Air Rangoon.
# Why not Copenhagen?
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H: Ooo-ooo, do you like my new car?
Ooo-ooo, do you like my new car?
She left her place after midnight,
she drove to the club.
You know that her and her partner,
came here lookin' for love.
They want a guy from a group
That's got a thing in a charts
If your dick is a monster
If your dick is a monster
If your dick is a monster
They will give him their hearts.
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# The Easy Teenage New York version of this Hard Centerville stuff can be
# found on Fillmore East, June 1971 album ( see _Bwana Dik_ and _Do You Like
# My New Car_ )
FAM-BAM-YAK-A-TA-TAHHH!
Penis Dimension
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M: Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, one night you're
at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean, you aren't even wearing
any underwear your being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night,
and looks you up and down and he says uh,
H: "Eight inches or less?"
M: Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn
around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes. And you got
to tell him these words:
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# In the movie this did not seque into philosophical _What Will This Evenig..._.
# Instead of this very mundane face of Ringo Starr aka Larry The Dwarf
# appeared on the screen to inform us all ( sorry for earwax :-)
# I stuff three pairs of socks and a ball [?] down in front of my pants
What Will This Evening Bring Me This Morning?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
M&H: WHAT WILL THIS EVENING
BRING ME THIS MORNING?
A succulent fat one!
A mod little flat one,
maybe a hot one (to give me the clap!)
^^^^^
maybe a freak who gets off with a strap.
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# On Chunga's Revenge this hot one was from Minneapolis ( see Road Ladies ),
# on Joe's Garage roman catholic pussy christened Carmenita Scarfone
# ( Catholic Girls )
A Nun Suit Painted on Some Old Boxes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sp: Why don't you stomp on this here bunch of cardboard boxes daddy-o?
Ch: [? ? ? ? ? ?]
Sp: You certainly look suave and get me hot.
Ch: Hot hot. Get me hot
Sp: And horny.
If there's one thing I really get off on,
it's a nun suit painted on some old boxes.
Ch: Some old [melodies?].
Sp: [? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?]
Ch: ??????
Sp: Pink gums. Stumpy gray teeth.
Ch: Dental floss.
Sp: Gets me hot. Want to watch a dental hygiene movie?
# In the movie there was really cardboard boxes with nun suit painted on
# them. And Ruth Underwood really lured some guy ( I don't know who acted as
# Penis Replica Vacuum Cleaner operator :-( to stomp on.
# But the real question - can anyone explain the idea behind this nun
# paraphernalia in the movie. What did all this Keith Moon provocative squats
# mean?
Magic Fingers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
H: HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
Well, there are a lot of reasons why I'd drag a girl such as yourself
back to this plastic hotel room ... and rip you off for spare change
to run a ...to run a vibrating machine attached to this queen-size,
bulk-purchase, kapok-infested, do-not-remove-tag-under-penalty-of-law
type bed and, and make you take off all your little clothes ... until
you are nearly stark raving nude. ( save for your chrome-with-heavy-
duty-leather-thong Peace Medallion) and make you assume a series of
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# Is this something very common from Vietnam era?
marginally erotic poses involving a plastic chair and an old guitar
strap while I did a wee-wee in your hair ... and beat you with a pair
^^^^^^^
# It seems that in the movie's intro to Penis Dimension Janet used the word
# as a synonym of dick. What's its real backstage :-) meaning?
Dew on the Newts We Got
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ch: Dew on the newts we got. Newt money dew.
It's a payment on the rental for the dewy little newts we got.
We got 'em dewy. Left 'em in the yard all night,
though they didn't get uptight.
The little vixens, the saucy little vixens, [? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?].
^^^^^ ^^^^^^
I know that they did not, did not,
I know that they did not dash off into the night.
# It seems that in BTHW _What Kind of Girl_ this word is a synonym of
# a whore
# This unfortunate little vixen wouldn't let just ANYBODY
# Spoo over her lap
# Is it so here too?
The Lad Searches the Night for His Newts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ch: The lad searches the night for his newts.
# Will somebody mind to substitute the ??? with a real stuff. May be someone
# also can offer an explanation of this surrealism too.
The Girl Wants to Fix Him Some Broth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tr: The girl wants to fix him some broth.
Sp: [Tits? n' cocks?]
Ch: [Tits? n' cocks?]
Sp: Would you like some broth?
Tr: Some nice soup.
Sp: Some hot broth.
Tr: Small dogs in it.
Sp: Do you
Tr: You like broth? Dog broth.
Sp: Hot broth.
Tr: You like dog broth hot? How do you like it? [? ? ? ?] all styles [of? it?]
[? ?] broth breath, and the ever popular hygienic European version,
[Tits? n' cocks?]
Ch: [Tits? n' cocks?]
Tr: Which do you choose?
# Is there any volunteers for another correction attempt?
#
#BTW, Is it CC?
# Absolutely Free. Plastic People
#
# The President of the United States!
# "Fella Americans ... Doot, Doot, Doot..."
# He's been sick! -- Doot! Doot!
# And I think his wife is gonna bring hin
# Some chicken soup.
Little Green Scratchy Sweaters & Courderoy Ponce
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sp: [? ? ? ? ? ?] I see them [? ? ? ?]
disciplining munchkin creatures.
Tortured munchkins, tortured munchkins
I wish [ ? ? ? ? victims?].
Little green scratchy sweaters,
little green scratchy ones
and courderoy ponce.
Courderoy ponce
and green scratchy munchkin.
I wish [? ? ? ? ? victims?].
Munchkins get me hot.
Munchkins get me get me hot.
Hot! Gets her real hot.
# Once again
# Will somebody mind to substitute the ??? with a real stuff. May be someone
# also can offer an explanation of this surrealism too.
Strictly Genteel (the finale)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
T: This, as you might have guessed, is the end of the movie. The entire cast
is assembled here at the Centerville Recreational Facility to bid farewell
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#CC
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# Early in the movie the placed was called by Larry the Dwarf
# The Reorientational Facility ( erected to bring about the final solution to
# the orchestra question ), the lecture goes like this:
#
# Hello there... When you go on tour with musical group it's possible that
# any town [can? be? seen?] like this, whatever it's large or small or busy or
# nothing happend in it. The reason for this is quit simple. A musician if you
# consider the normal pattern of modern civilized life is on the outside of
# the road. He doesn't build things, he doesn' work regular hours like a
# decent God-fearing citizens and the life he leads in many ways seems useless
# and irrelevant to those of us who prefered a quiet evening in front of the
# television and a bottle of beer .
# Amazing as it might seems to some of us musician's basical physical needs
# are just like [of?] real people. Many of them study for years, learnig to
# play the violin, for instance, only to be rewarded with humdrum job in the
# forth row of the symphonic string section. That's why the goverment have
# constructed at great expanse this experimental reorientation facility to
# find the way perhaps to retrain this useless musicians [???] fiddles and
# horns the reasons to exist in modern world, a chance of happy and more
# productive life, some [send?] to the militry, some [????] and some disappear in
# the middle of the night on the special training assigned to them.
#
# So it seems that when time comes for Joe's Garage the main idea was ten
# years old.
Sp: And every voice that is adrift in the storm.
Ch: Help everybody, so they all get some action,
some love on the weekend, some real satisfaction.
Sp: [??????]
[??????]
# Another hard to catch lines.
M&H: Reach out your hand to the girl in the dog book,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
the girl in the pig book, and the one with the heart.
^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
# What does this mean?
M&H: The Swedish apparatus with a hood and a bludgeon
with a microwave oven. "Honey, how do it [?feel?]"
# From: Vladimir Sovetov (sova@bank.kemerovo.su)
# Accordingly to the Keith Moon, dressed up like Nun in the movie,
# this is special means to make your cock monstrous enough.
M&H: Lord, have mercy on the hippies and faggots
and the dykes and the weird little children they grow.
Help the black man.
Help the poor man.
Help the milkman.
Help the doorman.
Help the lonely [? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?].
# Another hard to catch line above .
# And dozen below
H: And once again take themselves seriously.
Two, three, four, seriously.
M: They're all going to go home,
M&H: to the [? ? ? ? ? ?].
M: They're all going to go home,
M&H: through the fog, through the dusk.
To the [? ? ? ? ?] and the mystery sauce.
M: They're all going to go home.
H: [? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? babe]
M: and the same goes for me.
H: And the same goes for me.
M&H: Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
H: And each and every member of this rock oriented opera group
in his own special way is going to get out of this [? ? ?].
M&H: They're all going to get wasted.
They're all going to get twisted.
They're all going to get wasted.
They're all going to get twisted.
H: And I am definitely going to get [?].
'Cause I'm such a lonely.. I'm such a lonely..
a lonely, lonely, talkin' 'bout a lonely guy.
Oh, and I know tonight, I am definitely...
I am positively... I just have to get...
H&M: [? ? ? ? ?]
Jm: A disaster area the size of Atlantic City, New Jersey.
H: He's making me do this, ladies and gentlemen. I wouldn't do it if it
weren't for this. You noticed, all through this material, I've been
glancing over toward my left? Well, I'll tell you the reason for that
ladies and gentlemen. He is over there. He is over on the left. He is
the guy that is making me do all this shit. Right over there. Now all
through this movie, every time we've been on stage, I've had to look
over in that direction, right? You saw it. You know. Well that's 'cause
he's over there. I've got to watch over [?]. He jumps up and down like
a jackass. I can't even believe the guy sometimes. But we gotta watch
him. "After all," we said, "it's Frank's movie." Now, we're the
Mothers, but it's still Frank's movie. He got the [? ?], ladies and
gentlemen. He rented the studio; had all these cheesy sets made into
[? ? ?]. [? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?]